Have you ever had a day when you find out something about someone that you thought you knew everything about?
Today was one of those days for me and Jacob.
Jacob has been having some anxiety issues so he has been seeing a therapist. I was very skeptical of the idea that this would actually help him, but it is actually doing a lot of good. He is getting more self confidence everyday with the help of this therapist.
So today was his visit, I am usually in the room for about 45 mins and then the next 15 mins Jacob has one-on-one time.
During our time in the room together I told the therapist that Jacob has been feeling really anxious & nervous lately and I didn't understand why. He hasn't told me anything that has been worrying him or upsetting him, so I don't know what to do. She asked me if there would be anything for Jacob to be worrying about, I couldn't think of anything so I told her no.
She asked Jacob and he started to tell her about how much he misses his dad because he is at work all the time. He told her that he worries about his dad getting in another car accident or getting hurt by a bad guy. Wow! I never thought that Gerardo being gone all the time would affect him.
She asked me if there has been any life changing experiences for Jacob lately, I couldn't think of anything so I told her no.
She asked Jacob and he said that most major thing that happened to him recently was his grandma dying.
My jaw just about hit the floor! This was an absolute life changing experience for me as a grown up, but never did I think that it would effect Jacob! Jacob was not very close to my mother-in-law, but I guess just because you don't see someone every day- doesn't mean you don't care for them or that they don't have an effect on your life.
Even though Mama Chayo was not his "real" grandma, Jacob believes whole-heartily that Gerardo is his "real" dad, all his Tio's & Tia's are his "real" Tio's & Tia's and all his Flores cousins are his "real" cousins.
Jacob went on to explain to his therapist that it was very sad and hard for him to see his Tia Mimi and Tia Brenda cry so hard at the funeral. ----Who is this kid? He sounded like a little grown up, he even remembered clearly that is was Noemi & Brenda crying so much at the funeral!
So this was an "Ah Ha" moment for me. Jacob is getting older and I really need to pay more attention to what is going on in his head. I have to let him know that my love for him is unconditional and eternal. I think we will have more one-on-one talks of our own, and not wait for the therapist.
At the end of today, I learned something new about Jacob...someone that I thought I knew everything about...and I make a promise to him that from now on I will be the one who gives him comfort when he needs it.
1 comments:
It always suprises me the way kids think. We never really think of them as having a mature brain and yet they surprise us at times. I guess this is one of those times. I am glad he doesn't doubt for a second that we ARE his family and he is a part of ours! Even though this was a sad occassion for him to remember, I hope we can make many more joyous ones too! hugs for jacob!
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